It is known that grief and loss very difficult moments in the life of a man. There is a large amount of literature available to those who mourn help with a personal loss, but not so much information available to help people to help others. In a period of loss, a strong support network is one of the most useful tools that are available to the grieving person. Most people who have to take care of a loved one experience a loss can probably remember howdifficult it is to be there for that person.
Really want to help people. People as well as be able to solve problems and make things better. In the case of a personal loss, they often feel helpless because they believe that the retrieval of the dead who are not, of course they do-able, which would resolve the problem. What is remembered for the consolation of various important that they are not at the pains are gone, but they can help their loved one.
For each of theElisabeth Kubler - Ross' Five Stages of Grief (Denial -> anger -> Haggling -> Depression -> Acceptance) the individual has certain needs that can help her support network.
Denial - If the person is in shock and disbelief to experience some of what actually happens when your network is called to support the action. This stage, like all others do not, no time limit. During this time, there may be some substances that affect the individualresponsible, and that would be a time when they need help. This is a time for their support to the pitch in the net where they can. If a ticket is required to go online and compare prices and brings the best opportunities. If this is the person the last preparations, they may need help, which is run at a funeral home to help someone, walk a few of the necessary errands, or perhaps some companies, while around and make plans.
The presence of the support network, says: "Hey, you'renot alone, "and that is priceless. Some people in denial just go on autopilot. You are superman / woman and want to do everything and sometimes that's how they stay together. That does not mean that they do not support need, but it means that they may need your support to give to a certain distance. This was not there to float, but too.
Anger-This feeling is not very likely to be directed at the people around them at first. While the individual to feel anger against himself,of the deceased or other higher power, it is important to see their anger. We can not guarantee that the anger will flow only in a certain direction. If a person is already experiencing hurt and anger, this might increase their vulnerability and vulnerable to other emotions. The little things, both positive and negative seems more reasonable. You can more appreciate small gesture, but it also means that they can be more easily moved. This is a stage where theymay require a little more patience than usual. Be there and be ready, things are not personal. Note that at this stage it is not about you, but the sad individual, or even lost the one they have.
Bargaining-In this phase, the individual attempts to barter away the loss and hurt. This phase could be a personal and spirituals, such as negotiating position will be negotiated with God or other higher power. While much of this process is internal, there is stillhelpful little things that can be done. Sometimes it's enough to know that it also helps support. As to the promotion and will be important. At this stage the person is able to provide some life-affirming activities, so that participation without it. Invite them out to recommend funny things. Make sure the activities are things that the person enjoys. When they come onto the stage to prepare depression, they have so many life-affirming activities to date, to remind them,positive things in their lives and that they be able to go.
Depression: This is probably one of the most difficult phases to observe, and it's no picnic for which it is not going through. Many therapists have confessed that the depression or at least one of the diagnoses they like with the least work. That is because it is difficult to see someone in such pain and feel like helping the efforts that are not working. In this phase be supported, but not be arrogant;encouraging but not pushy. Remember that this person is usually hurt you, too, after he experienced a great loss. It can be difficult to round them if you can not know what to do, but to help some of the everyday things from before. Try it with other parties on a smaller scale is probably better for most people. If they show interest in promoting anything that ... as long as it legal and not detrimental to them or others.
This is also a time when you needbe vigilant to ensure that they do not fall into depression. It is true that the duration of each phase is different for everyone to open, but keep in mind. When symptoms of depression (including the DSM-IV criteria, depressive mood, loss of interest in pleasure, significant weight loss, fatigue, or a daily drop in energy prices insomnia) are still ongoing for several months, it can not recommend a bad idea seek help from outside.
Please note that the DSM-IV recognized bereavement listan acceptable time in which a person may experience the above symptoms and it may be a clinically diagnosed major depressive episode. Can be diagnosed for a major depressive episode, symptoms must persist for more than two months. The most important thing is that when expressing a concern. Related Resources for the person and they present. The therapist can, what is needed to support the person through the psychological healing. In some cases, a life coachmay be needed to help them to restructure through this adjustment. A coach is preferable to the clinical experience of advice would be, because they trained in certain symptoms should be noted that may be the clinical, they have either read with the client address or to a therapist experienced.
Adoption: This is the ultimate goal. Recognizing that the loss is real and painful, but it is possible to move ahead. This is a time that can also be difficult because the personis the adjustment to life after the loss. Support is the key. There is, and remind them once again, the person: "Hey, you're not alone" is what is needed. Depending on how close was the loss that can lead to changes in daily routines that need to be made. Be there. Listen. Check the person's feelings and concerns. Share and only give advice if asked or you can see how it will help the person. If it seems that the person needs more or outside professional help, can do some research and make theRecommendations. One should not just be pushy. A therapist or coach can be helpful when the person who transitions that are necessary to make.
During the grief process, there are some things that people tend to do that is not always helpful, but the intention is good in general.
· Do not tell the person does not cry or stop crying "strong" - Why should not they? That hurts! Crying is a way to release some of the tension building in the heart. In cases whereThere have young children who may fear or have expressed misgivings as to cry, a parent in such pain and. Instead of saying that the person stop crying, you remove the child from the situation. Invite the child to go do something they really want, and reassure them that mom, dad or whoever will be in order and that they were crying because it hurts.
Take it easy · the grieving process. Sometimes people are rushing to the work of mourning "things back to normal", but when a piece ofbeen removed from "normal" is "normal" has changed. Rushing the process does things normal again, but only cheats the person from the opportunity to grieve fully to recovery. And please, under no circumstances, you should always have the words "You need to get over it" or something out loud, it sounds like it has similar connotations, or to a grieving person. You do not know what they have lost, and you do not get to decide how they feel, or should, for how long.
· "I know exactly how you feel."Can you remember what your answer was the last time you went through something and someone said that to you what? Often there is no you do not. " If the person does not say the idea is at least in my mind. If you had exactly the same relationship with the same person that you really do not. You can understand how the person feels. You can imagine how the person feels. You do not know really.
Remember, the most important thing to do is be there. Thinking: "Hey, you're not alone," ie,a lot. Help the person to get back into their routine. Cry when necessary, laugh when appropriate, share funny stories and situations to take, what it is a difficult moment, perhaps even a defining moment, but it is only a moment, and there is much life to live after that moment .
© 2009 Judi Cineas
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